SofaRacer

The Invaluable thing about having the Vast Experience & Calm demeanour of Cal Crutchlow in the Box is his ability to explain Complex Technical concepts in Simple, easy to understand, terms. “Either get within 2 Tenths of Moreira, or I’ll Shove this Circuit Map SO FAR up your…”

A Very Satisfying Friday for Pecco Bagnaia in P4. Just goes to show what a Rider can do with a Rocket up his Arse.

Not often you see the Words ‘Marc Márquez’ and ‘Weakest Link’ in the same Sentence.

Imagine if they Kidnapped Guenther Steiner. The Ransom Note would say; “He won’t Shutup, and the Language is beyond offensive. We will Pay YOU to take him back”.

Aprilia really are a Special kind of Stupid. Martín is Top 5 with 20 minutes to go in a Meaningless Friday Session. Park it and Save his Wrist you Fools.

“And then, just when I didn’t think I could feel any worse, I got back to the Box and Cal was there happy to explain what I’d done wrong”

Dear the Iranians, Any chance you could take out this Stupid Fucking Graphic?

All set for the Riders Parade.

They could embrace the Situation, and call the Main Straight at Lusail “Hormuz”. Because that’s where the Attacks happen.

Nothing about what to do if Marc Márquez Attacks. Because there’s no Defence against that.

The Korean Central Broadcasting Committee are Proud to have Produced today’s MotoGP Press Conference. Tune in to KCTV for all the latest, if you know what’s good for you. (they really DO know where you live)

EXCLUSIVE : List of Approved Questions for the Press Conference.

Huge Congratulations to Jake Dixon for Scoring Points on his MotoGP debut for Honda.

Always wanted to be part of MotoGP Officialdom? Got a Passport & a Blazer? Represent the FIM At Qatar. No real Duties, just Mill around and Shake a few Hands. But you HAVE to Collect the Cheque and bring it back.

Ugly Scenes in Central Doha tonight as English Journalist @matoxley is Forcefully Ejected from the ‘MotoGP Fancy Dress Ball in association with Qatar Airways’ for complaining perhaps a touch too vociferously about “Ludicrous Fucking Bar Prices!”

As Jed Bartlet will tell you, when Playing Chess you have to see the Whole Board… 1. Yamaha - We’re not going 2. MotoGP - Great Vengeance, Furious Anger etc Check? No Yamaha - Nice Moto3 Series you have there. Shame if anything happened to the New Bikes for Next Year BOOM!

Good News coming out of the Martín Camp; 1. He can now hold his Toothbrush firmly in his Hand. 2. He has Sharpened the End into a Shank “Just In Case”.

After receiving a ‘Credible Threat’ regarding a Drone Strike at the Track specifically Targeting the Yamaha MotoGP Freight, the Qatari Authorities in conjunction with Interpol have released this, the only known Photograph of the Self Styled Freedom Fighter “El Diablo”.

Following a deluge of negative MotoGP Press reports criticising the Dynastic Authoritarian Regime which cracks down Brutally on Dissidents, the Emir of Qatar, Sheikh Tamim bin Hamad Al Thani, has issued a defiant Statement saying “That’s no way to Talk about Carlos Ezpeleta”.

Tactical Masterstroke from Pramac, setting up the Bikes in the Box and hoping Liberty just don’t notice. “We were there. Did you not see us?”