Marty Fields
@Martyfields
Comic, MC, musician, actor, radio guy, dad and animal activist. Comes with 12 month warranty.
518 Following10.4K Followers29K Posts
- Marty Fields@MartyfieldsNoah's Ark is crazy. Catching two of every animal? It took me 3 hours just to get one cat to the vet.1019542
- Marty Fields@Martyfields"We knew the world would not be the same. A few people laughed, a few people cried. Most people were silent. I remembered the line from the Hindu scripture, the Bhagavad-Gita... 'Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds.' - Oppenheimer.Aaron Rupar @atrupara heavily slurring Trump lies his ass off: "Not only did Talafreako state that God is transgender, he actually said that if Jesus Christ himself came and visited the Texas legislature, Jesus would be promoting sex changes for little children."015594
a heavily slurring Trump lies his ass off: "Not only did Talafreako state that God is transgender, he actually said that if Jesus Christ himself came and visited the Texas legislature, Jesus would be promoting sex changes for little children."4436363.1K522K- Marty Fields@MartyfieldsMy wife is miserable and grumpy. Even after a two week holiday in Tahiti! Unbelievable! She gave me the worst 'welcome home' ever.007474
- Marty Fields@MartyfieldsFor only $30 a month you can adopt a Jetstar passenger. Help us stop the brutal & inhumane way we treat them by donating today. You’ll receive a framed picture of your very own Jetstar passenger and regular updates as to where their luggage might be. Thank you — Melbourne Airport3123819
- Marty Fields@MartyfieldsThey’re out there. And her magic chant is straight out of “Wicked”. Bless.004546
- Marty Fields@MartyfieldsPRIEST: What were you thinking?? ME: Releasing birds at a wedding is romantic. PRIEST: Emus?3010731
- Marty Fields@MartyfieldsSadly accurate. If you still support trump after all he’s done (or failed to do) I’m sorry but you will die stupid.
3424668 - Marty Fields@MartyfieldsI shouted at my wife while she was in labour, "Push harder". She screamed, "Fuck you!" Bit harsh. It wasn't my fault the car broke down on the way to the hospital.2229957
- Marty Fields@MartyfieldsEnglish is tricky. Particularly when the beginning of your speech begins with beginning.006520
- Marty Fields@MartyfieldsWhat a disgrace.Ford News @FordJohnathan5BREAKINGNEWS; Jared Kushner is going to jail for this corruption if you make the right decision and vote out Republicans. Kushner 2 billion dollars in return Saudi Arabia got political favors. Dutch intelligence captured this data live. 🚨026584
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