Random internet manager here 👋🏽 I have so many thoughts here and if you don’t know me, I’m known for building psychologically safe and efficient teams. Some of my favorite compliments I’ve received about my management are: 1- “your team would run through brick walls for you”. 2- “your team doesn’t play about you, even when you’re not around” 3- many of my engineers saying they’d following me “anywhere”
I know it’s not common but I LOVE trying to be the best manager I can be to each person on my team. However, I understand that mode of thinking isn’t for everyone.
But no matter what your mindset is on management, I truly believe a few ways of working will help you build an effective and stable team that’s built to last.
First, the quoted post is right. Some managers intentionally don’t grow engineers to keep the team “stable”. But if an engineer feels they don’t have room to grow and/or are unhappy, they’re not going to do their best work. Potentially creating a drag on the team until they finally find their exit. If you have motivated people, do your best to align them with what makes them tick and let them soar. Quality people will always be able to leave, help them see the value in staying. And when it does come time for them to leave, don’t take it personal. It’s a job 💜
Second, if onboarding people is a grueling task, dig into why. Yes, people take time to get organizational context, but are there other onboarding changes you could make to make things more smooth? Outdated documentation? Breaking down knowledge siloes? Engineers who don’t want to help their team? Whatever it is, lessen the impact of the onboarding drag.
Third, great employees are hard to find. If you find a few, do you really want to lose them because you’re scared they’ll leave? IMHO, I prefer to give these phenomenal employees a work environment that’s hard to find elsewhere. Giving a crap puts you ahead of majority of managers.
Fourth, I want to acknowledge that the industry is in a tight spot right now. If you lose someone, you may not get the backfill. Which can feel scary when the workload isn’t decreasing. But even with the potential of losing the headcount, I still stand by the fact that limiting your people’s growth isn’t the fix here. If anything, managers should lean into coaching and aligning their people with high impact work in case the team’s value ever comes into question.
Lastly, remember that your best people can always leave. If they’re good enough, there’s likely always another company that wants them. Refusing to nurture their career will only expedite their exit. My approach is to make sure they enjoy their time under my management so I can slowly but surely build my “forever team” of people I’d hire anywhere I work.
Aakash Gupta @aakashguptaMost managers already know how to run great 1:1s. They choose not to because their org punishes them for it. Every experienced manager has heard the advice. Let your reports own the agenda. Focus on their growth. Coach instead of direct. They learned it in their first leadership training. They’ve read the books. They’ve nodded along in the workshops. They still run status update 1:1s. And the reason is structural. A manager who develops their reports well creates people who get promoted out, get poached, or start asking for the manager’s job. A manager who runs low-energy status updates keeps the team stable, dependent, and unlikely to leave. HR tracks attrition as a negative on the manager’s scorecard. Nobody tracks “I developed three people so well they all got promoted in 18 months” as a win. The incentive math is brutal. Develop your people → they leave → you backfill → you spend 6 months ramping a new hire → your team’s output craters during the transition → your performance review suffers. Run status updates → team stays put → output is predictable → you look like a stable operator. This is why advice like this resonates massively and changes almost nobody’s behavior. The managers reading and bookmarking it will open their next 1:1 on Monday and ask “so what’s your status on the Q2 deliverables?” Because their org rewards exactly that. The managers who actually run great 1:1s tend to work at companies where developing people out of your team is celebrated. Those orgs are rare. And until that changes, most 1:1s stay exactly where they are: status updates with a calendar invite.
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