Norm✓

@normAL219

Might be being a touch sarcastic…

  • Durham, England
  • Joined
8.5K Following16K Followers34.3K Posts
  1. Norm✓@normAL219
    *Breaking * Survivors of the 1976 UK heatwave are to be offered counselling and an apology from the Met Office for them not issuing a warning that the sun can be hot.
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  2. Norm✓@normAL219
    I know it’s tough out there, so, today, I’m going to announce £45 off your yearly gas bill before it’s raised by an average £250 a year in January. Yes, £45, every little helps right ? No… don’t thank me it’s fine….
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  3. Norm✓@normAL219
    Look, I know families are worried about rising unemployment, I get it. That’s why today, we’re going to make it even more expensive for employers to hire you.
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  4. Norm✓@normAL219
    ‘gOVeRmENT aRe rEMoVInG THe sTaNDiNg oRdEr fRom yoUr gAs bIlL’ Legacy media Muppets haven’t quite worked out the less than 87p a week bit just yet …before the January rise sends prices into meltdown…
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  5. Norm✓@normAL219
    In the event of having to spend time in a nuclear bunker make sure you take advantage of the lower-priced gherkins and marmalade and fill your boots while stocks last….
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  6. Norm✓@normAL219
    Norm
    RT @VerhofstadtQ: If you're on minimum wage and like gherkins, you'll be laughing all the way to the bank tomorrow, until you get your electricity bill.
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  7. Norm✓@normAL219
    Our mortgages and energy bills are going through the roof but at least we’ll have a load of empty marmalade and gherkin jars spare to piss in…. Thanks Andy, you’ve made the important things in life a lot ‘easier’….
    The Labour Party @UKLabour
    🚨Ahead of the Budget, Andy Burnham has announced 5 new everyday fixes to make your life easier.
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  8. The Labour Party✓@UKLabour
    🚨Ahead of the Budget, Andy Burnham has announced 5 new everyday fixes to make your life easier.
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  9. Norm✓@normAL219
    Cheaper Marmalade….they’ll Luv that.. what about Gherkins ? Given that any thought ?
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  10. Norm✓@normAL219
    The UN General Assembly also adopted a resolution on Wednesday declaring Nish Kumar the funniest comedian ever..
    UN News @UN_News_Centre
    The UN General Assembly adopted a resolution on Wednesday declaring the transatlantic slave trade as the gravest crime against humanity.
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  11. UN News@UN_News_Centre
    The UN General Assembly adopted a resolution on Wednesday declaring the transatlantic slave trade as the gravest crime against humanity.
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  12. Norm✓@normAL219
    Norm
    RT @JeremyCordite: Burnham 2016: Freedom of movement undermines wages. Burnham 2026: Wants freedom of movement to undermine wages.
    Andy Burnham @andyburnham
    There is nothing socialist about a system of free movement that is used by multi-nationals to undermine wages. WATCH my Brexit speech today.
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  13. Andy Burnham✓@andyburnham
    There is nothing socialist about a system of free movement that is used by multi-nationals to undermine wages. WATCH my Brexit speech today.
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    6511.4K2.4K
  14. Norm✓@normAL219
    Just call the next storm ‘Miliband’ then all these power cuts will make sense…..
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  15. Norm✓@normAL219
    Woolworths & C&A by any chance ?
    Politics UK @PolitlcsUK
    🚨 NEW: Rachel Reeves is rumoured to quit as an MP to "cash in" on her experience as Chancellor It comes after she "secretly met" two City companies in the last fortnight [@MillardClothier]
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  16. Politics UK✓@PolitlcsUK
    🚨 NEW: Rachel Reeves is rumoured to quit as an MP to "cash in" on her experience as Chancellor It comes after she "secretly met" two City companies in the last fortnight [@MillardClothier]
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  17. Norm✓@normAL219
    Dog : What’s this clocks going back one hour bullshit ? Get up and feed me…
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  18. Norm✓@normAL219
    🚨 Don’t forget to put your clocks back to the 1970’s tonight 🚨
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  19. Norm✓@normAL219
    🚨 Get your nuclear war ‘Wind Up’ radios featuring James O’Brien and Jeremy Vine shows on a loop - only £2.99 on Amazon 🚨
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  20. Norm✓@normAL219
    Yeah, run out of supply every now and then, blame the Russians and tell us all to get sleeping bags, bottled water, and tinned food. Another cost saving in every post code …..
    The Labour Party @UKLabour
    Labour has a plan to bring down energy bills for good.
    1211447
  21. Norm✓@normAL219
    Could someone ask Fraser Nelson to do a graph for this ?
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  22. Norm✓@normAL219
    Norm
    RT @WireSpy92: Labour has gone from ‘Hope’ to ‘Stock up on food or you’ll die’.
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  23. Norm✓@normAL219
    Could you produce a graph for those in the South West this morning ?Something along the lines of it’s not as windy as they think it is.
    Fraser Nelson @FraserNelson
    The new crime survey is out - the "Lawless Britain" picture in full - Violence at lowest since records began in 1981 - Corroborated by hospital figures for knife wounds - Robbery: record low - Overall crime 78% below 1995 peak. - Shoplifting up More:-
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  24. Fraser Nelson✓@FraserNelson
    The new crime survey is out - the "Lawless Britain" picture in full - Violence at lowest since records began in 1981 - Corroborated by hospital figures for knife wounds - Robbery: record low - Overall crime 78% below 1995 peak. - Shoplifting up More:-
    6189002.3K167K
  25. Norm✓@normAL219
    Torch ✅ Water ✅ Sleeping bag ✅ Wind up radio ✅ Tinned food ✅ Labour Government ✅
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  26. Norm✓@normAL219
    🚨 Andy Burnham to authorise the culling of pigeons that shite on your car after you’ve washed it 🚨
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